Preparing for Another Seat at the Holiday Table

Hold tight to the old while ringing in the new.

Photo by Juliette F on Unsplash

I remember the first holiday I spent away from my parents and siblings. I traveled to Buffalo with my longtime boyfriend (now husband) for Christmas Day. It was the first time I’d met his entire family, and they were definitely nice enough. Friendly, but not overbearing. Welcoming, but not over-the-top. Perhaps they understood how hard it was for me to say goodbye to my own family on Christmas to celebrate with a group of virtual strangers, trying to ignore the ache in my heart for leaving home and foregoing a lifetime of family traditions to try something new.

The first thing that struck me as odd was the meal. Not that it wasn’t delicious, because it was, but it was different. They were having turkey for dinner, not ham like I was accustomed to. Who did that? Hadn’t they just had a turkey dinner for Thanksgiving? And why weren’t there apples in the stuffing? There was no relish tray, no shrimp cocktail, and no Manhattan cocktails to make my aunt tipsy. Where was I? And how was I going to make it through dinner without bursting into tears?

Recalling those memories is particularly important this year, as we’re welcoming two new additions to our Thanksgiving table. Both of my daughters are bringing their significant others. I want…